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Why Discipline, through Kid’s Martial Arts, is more important than ever?
 
By definition, discipline means the practice of training people to obey rules or a code of behavior.  Throughout many years I always hear parents want their Surrey and Delta kids to join martial arts or taekwondo because of discipline.  But how exactly will discipline benefit and permeate every aspect of a child’s life?  This is the real question! I will explain how I have seen discipline positively transform children into well adjusted and mentally sound future adults and teens.  I have to warn you ahead of time, this read may take 5 minutes or more but I hope it will prove worthy of your time if discipline is truly the reason you want your child to join martial arts.
 
The importance of Discipline, incorporated into a great Martial Arts program, are as follows:

1. Building Good Habits and its ripple effect.
2. How setting boundaries reduces stress in kids?
3. How Surrey martial arts instructor assist parents to raise disciplined kids?
4. How anger issues in kids can be healed through taekwondo discipline?
5. Build self worth!
6. Can martial arts kids have more discipline than adults? Absolutely!

 
After instructing thousands and thousands of students, of all ages, I pondered why certain martial arts students in Surrey and Delta have reaped the fruits of success?  Discipline is a term loosely thrown around but I never came across a martial arts perspective that delved deeply into exactly how discipline exactly allows a child to reap the fruit from this mysterious word!  So, I felt compelled to give a meaningful answer to this age-old question.  So here goes!
 
Building good habits and its ripple effect?

From an early age, my strict Korean parents instilled discipline by instilling a profound principle of following proper conduct by obeying my parents and teachers.  To do otherwise, would result in disciplinary actions which were relative to the severity of misbehavior.  Most parents today were brought up using this disciplined approach.  However, today we tend to be gentler towards our kids because we knew how harsh that kind of upbringing was.  However, are we really doing a disservice to our children by being lenient at times when we really should be very firm depending on the extremity of naught behavior?  It is a difficult decision because we do not wish our kids to go through the harsh reality we did as kids.  I totally understand.

I remember a time I failed a grade 6 social geography unit exam.  My school teacher required us to memorize every country and its capital.  In addition to this, we were also required to memorize every province and US state and capital.  This amounted to over 400 names.  Everyone failed that unit exam.  Our teacher required us to get our parents to sign that exam and return it.  This did not turn out to be good!  My mother instilled her form of discipline that made me push my mental memorization boundaries beyond its limits.  Suffice it to say, on the make up exam, I scored a near perfect score.  Had my mother not instilled the importance of studying so hard that failure was not an option in my life, I never would have gone on to getting straight A’s from grade 4 to grade 12.  I am so thankful to my parents for instilling discipline into my life at a young age!  I may have hated it at the time, but I never questioned my parents for raising me the way they did!  I am extremely grateful to this day! 

Don’t worry!  I do not teach my Surrey martial arts students the exact same way my parents disciplined me.  They probably would have a mental breakdown.  Instead, I share the stories of how my parents were strict but I emphasize why they were strict.  I share how they loved us so much and wanted my life to be better than their life!  Most students take to these stories to heart and work harder than ever. 

To this day, I implement discipline to my students in this format so they understand that I really do care and want the very best for their lives!  And students respond very favorable to this approach.  I do not tolerate any disrespect students may show towards me as their instructor; nor do I accept any disrespect they may show towards their parents!  This is paramount for further added benefits to character development in my Surrey taekwondo programs.
 
How setting boundaries reduces stress in kids?

Major kid’s studies from Harvard and Brown University, outline which kids are happy and mentally stable and resilient.  The results were that parents and teachers, who effectively outlined expected proper behavior, tended to be the happiest kids!  We sometimes give our kids to much credit that they are more mature than they really are.  Sure, we should become our kid’s best friend but they really do need us to be their parent first!  As our kids become adults, we grant them more leeway as they mature into adulthood.  But for the time being as kids, they really do need boundaries.  Children who have boundaries learn acceptable and not acceptable behavior which is expected. 
When children learn the virtues of being truthful, doing the right thing, or being honorable, they are building the very constructs of what they represent as a person through this character development. 

Today, I occasionally see parents who set firm boundaries and this comforts myself that they are doing a wonderful job to making society, as a whole, a better place to live in!  Much kudos to them.   Students who talk back, disobedient, etc are usually kids where firm boundaries were not on a consistent basis.  Being a parent is the toughest job in the world!  I really mean that.  We can never take a day off through thick and thin.  Our kids constantly test us everyday to push what they can get away with.  However, if you stay the course, discipline becomes less and less needed because your children are starting to implement discipline in a self regulatory format!  When this happens, you can rest a little easier knowing that your child’s life is definitely headed in the best direction.
 
How Surrey martial arts instructor assist parents to raise disciplined kids?

The answer to this question is very simple!  Kids tend to listen to teachers, in some circumstances, better than their parents.  Kids will be more willing to accept discipline from a third party because they know they have no other choice in the matter.  Parents can tell their kids to stop playing video games and have a hit and miss result.  When parents communicated to the martial arts instructor about such, taekwondo students tend to change their discipline immediately!  I try to use this card sparingly and pick and choose my battles on winning the war in life for success according to my students. 
I have two levels of response to parent’s complaints of their kids negative behaviour at home or at school. 

1. I initially take a more understanding empathetic approach and this usually suffices for the majority of the time to correct negative behaviour.
2. If the child continually persists in making the wrong decision making choices, I may have to be more firm as with-holding belt testing or even taking their belts away for a short duration.  Trust me,  this can be extremely effective; much more than yelling at them.  Kids who absolutely love taekwondo or martial arts, will not jeopardize a slowdown in their belt progression!  I repeat, I use this as a last resort and very rarely have to implement this course of action, thankfully.

 
How anger issues in kids can be healed through taekwondo discipline?

Anger resolution and discipline may seem polar opposites to finding a positive result, right?  Kids who have anger issues must go through a certain format in order to success to be reaped.  Firstly, you must garner the trust and respect from your taekwondo or martial art’s student!  This is paramount.  When a student feels and sees that you really do care, they are much more apt to being responsive to you correcting their negative behaviours; so be it at home or at school or at the dojang!  

We are all human beings after all; we all want to be loved and understood.  So many conflicts result from not having an empathetic and understanding approach towards someone else in my opinion.  Sincerity and being genuine are key to any successful relationship; whether its parent to child; martial arts student to instructor; etc. 
 
Build self worth!

I do not know anyone who is extremely successful; whether it is in business or relationship wise, who does not have discipline!  Kids who do well in academics have the discipline to their homework in a diligent manner and learned that paying attention throughout the entire day to their school teacher reaps the academic power of true knowledge and its positive results. 
Kids who see the importance of obeying their parents consistently, see a more happier family unit.  And trust me when I say this, everybody, young or old, wants a happy family!  Who doesn’t?!

I tell my students that their job is school; just as my job is to be a great taekwondo and martial arts instructor to countless kids in Surrey, Newton, and Delta.  Discipline, through martial arts and taekwondo, really does bring out the best in Surrey kids; assuming you are firm and fair to each child!  I never tell prospective parents that Taekwondo or martial arts will be easy.  On the contrary, I emphasize my best students are the ones who really apply themselves during classes on a consistent basis!
 
Can martial arts kids have more discipline than adults? Absolutely!

We sometimes give our kids less credit than they really do deserve!  We underestimate their ability to understanding how the real world works.  I have seen kids who have way more discipline than adults!  When kids want to learn taekwondo or martial arts so badly, there is nothing that will stop them!  If they are a little naughty at home, they will change!  If they are a little talkative at school, they will change!  Nothing will stop Surrey or Delta kids in their endeavor to learn karate, taekwondo, or martial arts if they truly love it!  This is where I come in! I want to build a triangular relationship between an instructor, parent, and student.  Through this approach, the skies the limit on the key foundational development of our beloved children to grow up to be the kind of adult we would all be proud of!
 
I see, way to often, Surrey and Delta martial arts or taekwondo instructors who do not go the extra mile of “true” discipline!  They do not want to rock the boat.  I may be guilty of this at times but I always stay the course of the importance of discipline and sincerity will be a winning combination to the end result of a student who understands the importance of discipline.  Discipline, if taught right, positively permeates every aspect of a successful human being!  This is the Jong Kim Martial Arts approach our family has taken over many decades and I have personally seen my students reap tremendous life altering benefits!
 
I sincerely hope this personal blog about the true importance of Discipline lies at the core of a great Surrey, Newton, or Delta martial arts taekwondo school’s program!

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NEVER talk down to a Martial Arts student in Surrey and Delta!  Engage in a dialogue filled with respect and honor so as to raise a leader filled with integrity and self worth.

For the entirety of my life, I rarely talk down to anyone.  This concept stems from how my parents raised me with honor and wisdom.  Arrogance and a lack of humility usually leads to people who talk down to others in a callous way.  It is unacceptable and only brings harm to the community in my opinion.  The reason for this Surrey Martial Arts BLOG is how to I approach interacting with Surrey Taekwondo kids and the proper approach for success in changing the path of a student. 
 
As a backdrop to my experience with kids is my 50 yrs of Taekwondo interactions with students in Delta, Surrey, Newton, Langley, Fort Langley, Burnaby, and New Westminster martial arts students.  In addition to my Taekwondo instructor’s experience, I have also devoted decades of instruction as a Sunday school teacher to students ranging from kindergarten; all the way up to college students.  Yes, there were good and not so good experiences.  However, I have always tried a way to connect with people whether they are kids or adults.  This was a top priority to me as an innate quality that God touched my heart with.
 
A crucial concept is to NEVER talk down to anyone; whether they are a child or teen or an adult.  Nobody enjoys being talked down to.  It is a form of arrogance and gas lighting which usually is a tactic used by manipulative people; usually to get a false sense of superiority due to a lack of confidence. 
 
Students of all ages seem very receptive to the approach I take as a teacher of martial arts or Sunday school teacher in Delta, Newton, and Surrey areas.   I ask my Taekwondo students, time to time, what is it that you like in the approach I teach you?  Their following answers are usually:

       1.   I appreciate how you don’t talk down to us like most grown ups
       2.   How you are sincere and seem like you really care
      3.  The extra effort and time you put in to spend time with us during class 

As an adult and/or instructor of Taekwondo and Martial Arts in Newton, Surrey, or Delta, I treat everyone with respect; up til the point where they show me otherwise.  I give everyone the upfront attitude that they are a person worthy of respect and honor.  I tell my students a saying I learned from my World Famous Taekwondo father.  My Surrey Taekwondo dad would say in class, “ Respect given is respect earned!”   I cannot demand respect from my students.  It is something that which should be earned.  Sure, no one is perfect; but there is nothing wrong with trying to be the best person from within.  I don’t spend much time on my failures; but instead, I learn from each failure so as to project my life in the positive direction that is intended!  This concept is paramount to one who wishes to live with integrity. 
 
Of course I agree that usually adults have garnered more wisdom and experience than that of a child.  I am not saying otherwise.  However, do we really need to rub it into the face of a young child? A child is in the early stages of trying to determine what he/she stands for in life and can be an incredibly difficult journey in today’s tech world.  That said, more knowledge does not equate to more maturity in my opinion.  Children are exposed to too much at an earlier age than I am accustomed to.  Back in the 70’s, our lives as children were way more simplified.  We worried about good marks, making good friendships, and pimples.  Nowadays, too much is thrown at children unnecessarily!  They grow up way to quick.  It’s like kids turning from 6 years are going onto 16 as the old adage goes. 
 
More than ever, kids need to be talked to in a straight forward and honest approach.  Kids test us more today than of yester years.  Kids just want to be respected for who they are.  Sure, they need discipline when its appropriate.  But for the most part, they just want to feel that someone hears them for who they are.  At my Surrey and Newton Jong Kim Martial Arts school, I listen to each child intently and with purpose!  They are real people with real feelings with real heart.  You want to know the truth about something?  Ask a kid!!  They usually never lie and tell you as it is; not as you wish their response to be.  This is the reason we need to respect children for their truthful qualities; something most adults have learned to twist as they get older.  I know, I’m guilty of this at times.  Remember, no one’s perfect right?

My few favorite school and university teachers all had these same great qualities as outlined above!  Ms Booth; my fantastic grade 3 teacher.  Dr Yorke grade 12 honors Biology teacher. Ms Jeanine 2nd yr Criminology University SFU.   Mr Sullivan Philosophy 200 SFU.  They have left a profound impact on my character to this day; in which I am eternally thankful for!
 
To truly have a connection with a Taekwondo or martial arts students in Newton, Surrey, or Delta, a martial arts instructor needs to be genuine and thoughtful. 
 
The second point is to demonstrate true sincerity in your approach with kids.  Remember I told you that kids are the most perceptive human beings?  They are!  They notice the small things that most adults miss.  They pick up on the kind words you use towards them in our Surrey and Newton Taekwondo Classes!  I see it all the time; everyday!!  When a child knows feels you are genuine, they are more likely to reciprocate respect and follow complex taekwondo or martial arts drill routines!  They tend to persevere and not give up easily as a result.  This yields tremendous results.  These Taekwondo students reaps self worth, confidence, and resilience; something every parent longs for their martial arts child and future adult!  
 
Thirdly, go the extra mile with the Newton and Surrey taekwondo kids during classes!  I do!!!   Actions always speak louder than words!  I can tell my students I care but it doesn’t really come into focus until I SHOW THEM I CARE during our Surrey and Newton Jong Kim Martial Arts classes!!  Everyday, I intentionally try to make each student feel special!  They deserve it!   A martial arts instructor and student relationship is quite special to me.  It is an opportunity to raise the next gen of future adults who work hard, never give up, and with strong ethical character!  The bible says that one who cannot be trusted with an egg, will never be trusted with greater things.  I tell my students to do the right thing even if no one sees you!  As a Surrey or Delta parent, don’t we all wish our kids would do the right thing? Of course we do!  We cannot be with our child 24/7.  We cannot see them being tempted to lie a little, cheat a little or steal a little can we?  During my surrey and Newton Martial arts classes, my students do not think I see everything that goes on.  Boy are they wrong!  Through my intense sparring sessions, I learned that seeing things in the corner of my eye comes in handy against 100 kph kicks and punches coming from all angles!  Sure I may miss a few things here and there but I am quick to see things that can potentially arise; good or bad and take swift measures accordingly. 
 
I usually don’t do this but on odd occasions I spend my free time on weekends with a select few of my Surrey and Newton Taekwondo students.  If I know a child’s father has abandoned them, I’ll cheerfully ask permission to play soccer with them or whatever they are interested in.  I’ll buy them ice cream afterwards or take them to PNE if I know they are financially challenged.  I always ask respectfully and thoughtfully!  This is key in my opinion.  It matters how you treat someone with respect!  I do no do this for praise or accolades.  Actually, this is the first time I mentioned this to anyone; not even my family or wife knows I do this on the odd occasion.  I do this because if I switched places with that student of mine; I sure would wish someone would care; like really care; not because they have to, but because they really want to!
 
I challenge you all to show kindness and respect to young ones; whether they are your children, your friend’s children, or your family.  Love never fails!  I have seen the fruit of my enjoyable labor.  You will reap what you sow!  So everyone, go reap a harvest where kindness and respect permeates every aspect of your life!  This is my approach to my taekwondo and martial arts students in our Delta, Newton, and Surrey area!  I learned this from my father.  He set this example early on in life towards me and I am so thankful my dad and my master had and has such a crucial influence on my life! 
 
If my life approach towards my Delta, Newton, and Surrey Martial Arts is congruent to your personal approach, I truly welcome your kids to come try Surrey’s renowned Jong Kim Martial Arts academy in Newton, BC!
 
Jong Kim Martial Arts - Surrey - Taekwondo.
Unit 136 - 7536 130 Street,
Surrey, BC,
V3W 1H8.

Canada.


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Master Edward Kim presented 9th DAN BLACK BELT in Taekwondo in Surrey, BC and Delta, BC!
 
My Surrey - Newton taekwondo journey started back in 1973. My incredible World Famous Father presented me with 9th DAN Black Belt in Taekwondo Surrey and Delta. My father has guided my life with truth and meaning. I owe him my livelihood; a life where I fortunately met the best of the best of honorable martial arts students in Newton, Surrey, Delta, Langley, and Vancouver has to offer. I am the man today because of how my dad raised me to be genuine and kind to those around me. I am forever thankful God allowed my father to be who he is! The journey never ends! My journey continues today; to instill a touch of what my father instilled in me concerning matters of virtue! It's a wonderful day to be with my father, my taekwondo brothers and my students! Truly, a life worth living!
 
I look forward to bringing Taekwondo excellence, in all respects, to the future of kids in Surrey and Delta!  I am so thankful to be a part of countless students in Surrey, Delta, Newton, Burnaby, and Fort Langley students.  It is an honor to touch so many lives in martial arts students across Surrey, Newton, and Delta over the past decades!

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